2004-04-27 - 9:49 a.m.

trickle

somehow, when I was talkin to my elder sis during dinner, suddenly felt all my saddness building up inside me. As I talked, my tears just welled up in my eyes, streamed down my face. It just kept flowing, dripping onto the table cloth, can't really talk clearly...

I'm being stupid. To think this week and the few weeks after are the most crucial of period of my NYP years, y do tt...

But, some songs on the radio, some places I pass by, some stuff he gave, those cards and words he wrote before, just brought back a lot of memories

think time will heal every wound. I just feel it a pity, y didn't even give a try to work things out. It's not impossible. y cut to the shortest?...

But, maybe this is the best decision. waiting for him is unfair? I think leaving me now, is more unfair than tt.

Looks like he's not prepared for these changes and problems which are part & parcel of a relationship...It just feels like he's escaping, running away.

But, next time if such a problem arises again, he still have to work to sort things out. We didn't even have the chance to talk at all, after tt night.

Maybe it's a mistake right from the start.

I just got to let go...really so hard but I will.

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